ZPM Diary, October 9th, 2011

If you remember one thing about me, I’ve spent most of my adult life fighting my temper. I tell people now that I have managed to grow a long fuse, but once that fuse is gone, things happen very quickly after that. The good news is that I’ve gone from having bad days to good years and bad days, few and far between.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I don’t get mad at people these days. Hell, I don’t even get mad at things that happen that much anymore unless you prick at my sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. What grinds my gears these days is those times when I am unable to accomplish a task I’ve set for myself. I’m competitive, but my opponent isn’t anyone outside my head. It has been and will always be me I’m head to head with.

So this weekend, when a series of things happened that prevented me from finishing items on my TDL, one after another, It started as an annoyance. After moving on to three separate tasks within a couple of hours and finding that I could make no progress on any of them for reasons outside my control, I had to go and be somewhere by myself for a while because I am not good at people-ing when I get in that mood. Silver lining: It’s good to have that self-awareness. I didn’t have that when I was younger, and some nights when the wind hits just right I can still smell the burnt bridges.

I will say this: There was no better cure for my condition than learning to be comfortable in my own skin, or put more colorfully, it got better when I learned how many licks it took to get the center of an I Don’t Give A Fuck.

The week ahead: I have more photos to post here, and I’ll get the assets together for the new podcast. Let this be a lesson: If you’re not sure what you’re deleting, don’t delete it. I wish I could tell you that was the first time I’ve done that. Plenty of other people will tell you it’s not the first time. It’s all good, though. It’s still going to be on the same feed, and you can see all the prior shows on the podcast link over on the sidebar.

I’m debating removing all the posts on the Patreon Page right now and starting from scratch. Everything I’ve done there up to this point has been scattershot and has no reason or rhyme. Ostensibly, you’re coming for the voice and the attitude. If that’s the case, you’re not getting it over there right now. Besides, the photos and the other stuff belong here at my place. Otherwise, I’ve got no reason to tell you to come here.

That’s it for now, see you next week if not sooner.