ROLEY

Category: Zen Pirate Madman

  • ZPM Diary, October 30th, 2022

    I don’t want you to get excited, but I’ve made two podcast episodes this week.

    I KNOW, RIGHT?

    Here’s the deal. The two podcast episodes I’ve made are on Patreon. The main feed will receive its next episode next Saturday or Sunday. But the plan, for now, is that I will be doing one show a week on the main feed and at least one show a week on Patreon. I expect to do more, but I’m only committing to one. Any other bonus content I put on there is sauce for the goose, as they say. Also, I’ve erased the two higher tiers; there’s just one 5 dollar tier. If I’m going to offer a Patreon and promote the fact that I have one, I need to be able to deliver on what I’m offering. The other thing I will commit to is to create episodes through the week before Christmas, take a break for the end of the year, and then return after Jan 1st and run through at least the endi of July 2023, and break for August. That’s the plan for now

    The other thing I need to tell you is that there isn’t going to be a format for this podcast. I hope you’re coming for this show’s personality (or personalities) if you’re coming here. I just hate structure and format. it’s too binding for me. I can promise you’ll get Roley and all that comes with me.

    Sunday mornings are for groceries; you might do something similar. I might need to change that because with the world supposedly returning to normal (it isn’t), more and more people show up earlier and earlier at the grocery store. I once expected that there wouldn’t be dozens of people in line and only one or two registers open. That ship has sailed. I might need to insist on delivery if I want to resolve this to my satisfaction, but the pushback I get from that is, ‘well, when would we leave the house?’ Two years ago I would have said something like “I don’t WANT to leave the house, that’s the death thing, and the death thing isn’t good.” Today, I haven’t a problem with leaving the house, I would just rather be for something other than groceries. Literally anything else.

    You see, for some reason I can’t wrap my head around, it takes between two to three hours to get shopping done. I can either go pick it up and they load it in the back of the CX-5, or they deliver it. Either way, that is time I get back. I will happily give you all the money to get my time back. I’m that guy, and it’s not because I don’t want to go anywhere to do anything, it’s because I would like to do something else with my time.

    Oil change issues: Seems I can’t find anyone who can break the oil plug on the CX 5, and now I know why. I got under the car myself and found that the plug comes off with an Allen wrench, and the fuckers at the place where I got it, and anywhere else I’ve taken the damn thing, they’ve been trying to get it off with the normal way. IT’S ROUND ON THE EDGES. It does look like someone has tried to take it off with an allen wrench at some point, and it looks like it could be stripped there as well. I did manage to get an Allen socket in there, but I lack the ass to break it. So I need a little leverage, like pretty much everything else.

    Lesson: Don’t take your car to one of these jiffy 5 minute places. They don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.

    See you next week, check out the Patreon Podcasts if you’re so inclined, and next week we got a new main show for ya. See ya then.

  • ZPM Diary, October 23rd, 2022

    The business has picked up here, as Good Ol’ JR might say, though not in the best ways. Topping the list is our cat Mariel, who gave us quite a scare. To be fair, she’s a senior cat now, so slowing down a bit is to be expected. We got very concerned when she stopped eating, became lethargic, and had no interest in anything. One trip to the vet later, they believe we’re dealing with kidney disease or failure. She’s on a special diet and on a med that gooses her appetite, and we’ll see at the check-up in a week or so. I can tell you that in the week we’ve been on the medication and the special food, she’s been eating. She’s also the cat we know and love again. I know that not eating can present kidney problems in cats if not treated, but I no longer believe the kidney disease was the source of the issue, but possibly an outgrowth from it. We have a new cat in the house, and I think Mariel was depressed and not eating, and that was the start of the whole shebang. Luckily, she’s eating again. She lost a lot of weight in this episode, so I’m hopeful we can get her back to an average, healthy weight.

    I must confess I never understood why people would spend money hand over fist for a pet, especially if the quality of life of that pet wouldn’t get better. I think I have a frame of reference now. I’m not throwing in the towel on Mariel until I know there’s nothing to do but give her some peace. That cat adopted us, not the other way ’round. I’ll do whatever I can for her.

    As it’s Sunday and I have a 24-hour lag on anything Doctor Who-related around here, I’ve been trying to avoid spoilers like the plague. Having said this, there’s one particular pathetic excuse for a human that has never liked Jodie Whitaker in the role because she’s a woman that’s been gloating all day. This waste of space is everything wrong with fandom: The belief that this story and this character were made just for you, or people like you. It’s not. Gatekeep deez nuts.

    I hope you choke on your bile the day Ncuti shows up. It’s almost like RTD saw you and said “Hold my beer, you bearded taint.”

    Podcast/Content update for ya. Looking at starting things back up after the beginning of November. The Main Show will be once a week, and there will be two shows a week for Patreon. That’s how we’re going to start. I’m looking at some other content to put up, but that’s going to be down the road a piece. I need to establish the Main and Bonus shows. Stay Tuned for other stuff.

    I need some idea of what to do next for a video or a photo shoot. I’m tapped for ideas at the moment. Seeking inspiration, I guess. Part of being in a low key depression for a long time is a dry and somewhat foggy brain. The gym helps, d’ya think it’s time to go back? Not gonna lie, the macaroni still has me somewhat stressed.

    That’s all for now, see ya next week with more.

  • Return To Zero

    Here’s an odd little factoid about my family: my Dad was bald in his early thirties, and so was my brother. Most of the men on my Mother’s side were balding very early on. So, here’s another way I’m a freak of nature, I’ve managed to keep most of my hair up to my early fifties. Recently, it’s decided to let me know it might be time to stop fighting the tide. So I had a conversation with a clipper today.

    I did this about ten years ago a little prematurely for a different reason; I just didn’t want to fuck with it. I was also in a weird repentant monk phase of my existence for some reason I can’t remember at the moment. However, it’s true that I feel like I’m about to go through another change; trouble is, I’m not sure where it will take me yet. I don’t know if it’s the same for everyone, but I can tell you that I’ve been a bunch of different people in my life: some good, some not so much. But I know this: every one of those changes was for a reason.

    Time to embrace a new lesson, I suppose. My sixhead and I thank you for your patience.

  • ZPM Diary, October 9th, 2011

    If you remember one thing about me, I’ve spent most of my adult life fighting my temper. I tell people now that I have managed to grow a long fuse, but once that fuse is gone, things happen very quickly after that. The good news is that I’ve gone from having bad days to good years and bad days, few and far between.

    Yesterday was one of those days.

    I don’t get mad at people these days. Hell, I don’t even get mad at things that happen that much anymore unless you prick at my sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. What grinds my gears these days is those times when I am unable to accomplish a task I’ve set for myself. I’m competitive, but my opponent isn’t anyone outside my head. It has been and will always be me I’m head to head with.

    So this weekend, when a series of things happened that prevented me from finishing items on my TDL, one after another, It started as an annoyance. After moving on to three separate tasks within a couple of hours and finding that I could make no progress on any of them for reasons outside my control, I had to go and be somewhere by myself for a while because I am not good at people-ing when I get in that mood. Silver lining: It’s good to have that self-awareness. I didn’t have that when I was younger, and some nights when the wind hits just right I can still smell the burnt bridges.

    I will say this: There was no better cure for my condition than learning to be comfortable in my own skin, or put more colorfully, it got better when I learned how many licks it took to get the center of an I Don’t Give A Fuck.

    The week ahead: I have more photos to post here, and I’ll get the assets together for the new podcast. Let this be a lesson: If you’re not sure what you’re deleting, don’t delete it. I wish I could tell you that was the first time I’ve done that. Plenty of other people will tell you it’s not the first time. It’s all good, though. It’s still going to be on the same feed, and you can see all the prior shows on the podcast link over on the sidebar.

    I’m debating removing all the posts on the Patreon Page right now and starting from scratch. Everything I’ve done there up to this point has been scattershot and has no reason or rhyme. Ostensibly, you’re coming for the voice and the attitude. If that’s the case, you’re not getting it over there right now. Besides, the photos and the other stuff belong here at my place. Otherwise, I’ve got no reason to tell you to come here.

    That’s it for now, see you next week if not sooner.

  • ZPM Diary, October 2nd 2022

    This is Oreo. I am not sure of Oreo’s origin, but I know that she absolutely adores the wife. Up until a few days ago, she lived in the space between my fence and the neighbors. I do believe that she belongs (or belonged) to someone, because she successfully used a litter box. I don’t think feral cats do that as a general rule, so Oreo’s been potty trained. With Hurricane Ian bringing tropical force winds and cubic assload of rain to Virginia Beach, Kimmers asked if she could bring Oreo indoors. By asking, I mean that it was made clear that Oreo is coming in the house AND YOU DON’T MIND, DO YOU.

    DO. YOU.

    Of course not. I was worried about the existing Queen of the house being territorial, but we’re now on day three and they seem to tolerate each other. They’re sleeping on the same bed as I type this. So, it would appear that Kim has been chosen by another cat. A very affectionate, very talkative cat. Reminds me of my Siamese cat Darth in that regard. You could carry full conversations with Darth, Oreo is not far off.

    My guilty pleasure these days are HGTV or MotorTrend restoration shows. I find them a little different from the normal “Reality TV” fare, because there’s a tangible result at the end. They’re accomplishing something. Shows like Chrisley, to pick one out of the air, are manufactured drama, conflict, and resolution. In a word, bullshit. However, left to my own devices, I’ll just zone out and watch back to back restoration shows. It’s not exactly healthy, but let’s face a little fact: I’ve worked at the day job for a year straight with no time off until last week, and one week off wasn’t near enough to cure what ails me. The burnout is real. So, maybe self care is a endless train of Flip or Flop and Wheeler Dealers.

    Don’t hate.

    We’re now in the middle of the changing of the weather guard here. Kim likes fall, she just likes the changing of seasons. I spent the years between 5 and 12 in Hawaii, Virginia Beach and Gitmo. Yeah, I’m FROM Maine, but there’s a reason I say I’m FROM Maine. I DO NOT LIVE THERE NOW. I hate being cold for a number of reasons, but mainly because I’ve really never spent more than a couple of weeks at a time in Maine, mainly during Summer vacations, the exception being the Winter of 1982-1983. That was more than enough for me to vow I’d never go back there in the Winter. Hell, even October is too much. When we took my grandmother home after she passed, October 30, 2003. That morning it was 20 degrees. I’d rather not, thank you very hard.

    This week I ported all the posts from the old Squarespace site over here to the new WordPress site. There’s more photos I’ll add that never appeared anywhere, and the poddlement will be returning shortly. ALSO: I finally figure out what the hell to do with the Patreon. I’ve paused it for the time being, and when I bring it back, there will be only one five dollar tier. You’ll get audio that I make just for the Patrons that will be a daily nugget with what I think is important that day, my stupid ass take on it, and when it fits, and stories about why you should absolutely use me as a bad example. The trouble has always been that my ambition is way larger than my ability to match that level of ambition. What I need to do is produce what I can realistically give you consistently. So, I’m gonna give that a try. I anticipate that we’ll start November 1st, but we’ll see. It’s possible I’ll wait until January 1st so that I’m not starting and then breaking for Thanksgiving and Chhristmas. Let’s leave the frequent absences from work to Congress.

    I need to check on the feline armistice, so that’s all for now.

  • ZPM Diary, Sept 25th 2022

    I’d like to tell you that this was an eventful week here at RHQ, but I insisted that it be as quiet as possible. After working for a year straight at my day job, I took a vacation this week and mainly took it easy.

    Of course, by easy, I mean: end my Squarespace site and move back to WordPress and find something simple. Two years ago when I got laid off, I poured everything into trying to hang my own shingle, not having learned what happened during the Great Recession when I tried the first time. Take note friends, If the general population does not have discretionary income, they are not going to spend it on you. The past two and a half years have been brutal, and it’s taken quite a chunk out of my mental health. While I’m not giving up on the dream, I’m scaling it way back to the point where I can allow myself to have fun again.

    While cleaning my Mac, I deleted what I thought was an alias to my digital assets folder. That folder has all the stuff I use to make the podcast, the videos the photography. It wasn’t an alias. It was the actual folder. Luckily I had a backup, but the frustration of fixing my own screwup is something I could have done without. Took the opportunity to create new projects.

    My laundry room shelves REALLY needed the Spark Joy treatment. I’m lying. My entire laundry room became the room in the house no one wants to admit exists. It’s clean, let us never speak of this again.

    Insulin is not a new thing in this house, but it is a new thing to me. Fighting with insurance over insulin is also a new thing, but of all the new things that have happened this week, I didn’t expect to have my blood sugar go from 360 to 87 in 2 hours. If you don’t know what that feels like, I don’t recommend finding out.

    I’ve cleaned this house from stem to stern. I’ve cleaned places in this house I had not known existed previously.

    Now, I need to create a new template for the podcast in line with where I want to be now, and get back to creating, period. Photos, writing, podcast, videos, the whole thing. One thing at a time, and we’re going to start with this site. There’s some TikTok audio I heard once that said ”I’ve decided that I’m my niche, welcome to the shitshow.”

    Welcome, indeed.

  • I’m Not That Fancy

    So, here’s a little bit of a switch. As some of you may be aware, I’ve been a Squarespace customer for almost a decade. I like them, and their customer service has been excellent. However, over the course of the pandemic I’ve been thinking about what it is I actually *need* for a site, and that feeling has intensified over the last few weeks. I’ve also been giving thought to the anxiety I give myself trying to make my multimedia talents a thing, and I just don’t need to do that. I need to have fun doing this stuff, and this hasn’t been fun for a while.

    So I’m scaling back. I have made the switch back to a WordPress site, and the first decision I had to make was to whether or not to go look for a fancy theme or not. I don’t need some magazine theme or a portfolio theme, and I don’t need something that has my face plastered all over it like my last Squarespace site did. I need the content to be front and center; more steak than sizzle. This theme does that. It also serves as a platform for me to relearn some of the WordPress development things that I lost over the past ten years or so.

    This new experiment—and let’s be clear, this is me playing mad scientist for the first time in a dozen years or so— is meant to do one thing: force me to look at a blank background until I get annoyed enough to fill it with something. I make no promises, but if you’ve been with me for a while, you know this. Of course, you know where the door is if you’ve had enough.

    I haven’t.