Tuesday, November 1st, 2022

Blog

• Back in the deep, dark 1980s, there was a shop at Pembroke Mall called A Bit of England. This was the place you went to find chessboards and darts accessories, and most importantly, role-playing games stuff. It was in that store I found my two favorite games, Shadowrun and Paranoia. Pembroke Mall has gone through a cubic shitload of changes in the ensuing years, and Bit of England got the shit end of the stick. Eventually, they got evicted from the Mall because getting knocked down to build a senior living community. If you consider that the demographic that still goes to a Mall is my age, it was already a senior living community.

I ran some errands and found the store’s new location. I had to walk in. It was just how I remembered it. I ended up walking out with a set of RPG dice on impulse. I haven’t played in years. Call it a memento, I guess. I’ll put them on my ‘shelf of the ego’ and look at them now and then. Nice to walk in the past for a moment.

I’m not a person who chooses to walk in the past for very long. Like a lot of people, I didn’t have a particularly nice childhood. I have parts of the backstory that I love of course; I will talk your ears off about Guantanamo Bay in the early 80s. There was something special about that place, and I loved living there. But the common thread of my backstory is how often I was left to my own devices. I understand that’s common among my generation, but I don’t wear it like a badge of honor like some creators do on TikTok. I’m Gen X, and as we like to say, “Whatever.”

• I see the former guy appealed to SCOTUS in another attempt to keep the House from seeing his tax records. I don’t know why you’re even trying at this point. If trends are accurate, the House is going to flip Republican, and that’s it. That effectively means Trump is going to get away with a lot of stuff he should be going to jail for, because our justice system grinds ever so slowly for people in that rarified air. You and I would be well into our first year in Federal lockup. Of course, once the former guy announces he’s running for President again, all investigation is going to halt. He’s counting on that, and he’s counting on heading back to the WH so that he can’t be touched for another four years. We should have arrested him when you had the chance. We’re all kinds of fucked.

• A serious question: What is the objective reality that we agree exists? I’m afraid it got drowned in a bathtub somewhere. Not to delve too far into Ayn Rand, but one of the central tenets of Objectivism is that A is A, or a chair is a chair. I honestly believe that we have somehow split off into two groups, one that believes in an objective reality that can be observed, and one that believes what they are told is reality. Maybe it’s been this way for a long time, but this darkest timeline we’re living in has brought it into a sharper focus for me. I don’t know how else to explain it other than to say when presented with a demonstrable fact, there is a group of us here in [American] society that can deny its existence based on [insert bullshit here]. How do we resolve that? Can we resolve that?

• Finally, the first bonus pod dropped into the Patreon Feed today if you’re so inclined. First ep of the main show will be this weekend. LFG, as the youngs say.

Monday, October 31, 2022

Blog

• I have reached the point where I despise the word “woke”. I think it’s become co-opted in the same manner that “fake news” was.

Dictionary.com defines woke as:

Having or marked by an active awareness of systemic injustices and prejudices, especially those involving the treatment of ethnic, racial, or sexual minorities.

It seems that the only people using that term these days are using it disparagingly, and I guess I need to ask why. Are we not supposed to be aware of injustices and prejudices that exist? Am I not supposed to be aware of things that happened in the past? See, I think we’re using the wrong term. Those things aren’t “woke”, they’re *kind*. I choose to be kind, and instead of trying to defend against the term “woke”, I would rather ask those disparaging people why it’s wrong to be *kind*.

Of course, in a few of those cases, It’s the bare minimum to be a decent human, but that’s another story.

• Here’s a tool for your toolbox: Meet Evan Sernoffsky. He’s the goofball that originally reported that Paul Pelosi’s assailant was in just underwear. The stupid among us grabbed hold of that and won’t let go. Here’s Sernoffsky’s retraction, which the stupid seem to have missed. That’s funny. UPDATE: The AP reports that the suspect in the attack on Paul Pelosi told police that he wanted to break Nancy’s kneecaps and hold her hostage. Gaslight that, morons. BTW, here’s the DOJ complaint.

• I see that Taylor Swift has made history by having every song in the Top 10 of the Hot 100 charts. I seem to remember the Beatles having the Top 5 in 1964, and I distinctly remember thinking that no one could possibly top that. Madonna didn’t, MJ didn’t, Whitney didn’t, and BRITNEY didn’t. I thought the chance of that ever happening had gone away. I was wrong. I was also wrong about Taylor. My friends, she may not be my cup of tea, but she is legit.

• I’m the generation of kids that made yellow ribbons for the Iranian hostages. The Islamic Revolution of 1979 was the start of that whole thing, when they deposed the Shah and installed Khomeni as the leader of that country. To see this generation now pushing back against it is amazing to watch, but as you watch it, be mindful of one thing: They shoot without shame. In addition to Mahsa Amini’s death, remember Neda Agha-Soltan while you’re at it. She died in 2009 in the eleciton protests, you may remember her.

“…and these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds…”

• People shooting each other outside a liqour stor in Tallahassee? Shocked, I tells ya. DeDipshit wants to pass permitless carry in Florida. What could possibly go wrong?

• Just block *Elon. Just block anyone who screenshots Elon. Just block anyone who wants to argue about Elon. Sure, Twitter’s going to auger into the ground like a flaming fucking lawn dart, but I think it might be super fun to watch. I mean, it’s just day three and look where we are. I did sign up for Bluesky, so…

*Also applies to Trump if he’s reinstated.

ZPM Diary, October 30th, 2022

Zen Pirate Madman

I don’t want you to get excited, but I’ve made two podcast episodes this week.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

Here’s the deal. The two podcast episodes I’ve made are on Patreon. The main feed will receive its next episode next Saturday or Sunday. But the plan, for now, is that I will be doing one show a week on the main feed and at least one show a week on Patreon. I expect to do more, but I’m only committing to one. Any other bonus content I put on there is sauce for the goose, as they say. Also, I’ve erased the two higher tiers; there’s just one 5 dollar tier. If I’m going to offer a Patreon and promote the fact that I have one, I need to be able to deliver on what I’m offering. The other thing I will commit to is to create episodes through the week before Christmas, take a break for the end of the year, and then return after Jan 1st and run through at least the endi of July 2023, and break for August. That’s the plan for now

The other thing I need to tell you is that there isn’t going to be a format for this podcast. I hope you’re coming for this show’s personality (or personalities) if you’re coming here. I just hate structure and format. it’s too binding for me. I can promise you’ll get Roley and all that comes with me.

Sunday mornings are for groceries; you might do something similar. I might need to change that because with the world supposedly returning to normal (it isn’t), more and more people show up earlier and earlier at the grocery store. I once expected that there wouldn’t be dozens of people in line and only one or two registers open. That ship has sailed. I might need to insist on delivery if I want to resolve this to my satisfaction, but the pushback I get from that is, ‘well, when would we leave the house?’ Two years ago I would have said something like “I don’t WANT to leave the house, that’s the death thing, and the death thing isn’t good.” Today, I haven’t a problem with leaving the house, I would just rather be for something other than groceries. Literally anything else.

You see, for some reason I can’t wrap my head around, it takes between two to three hours to get shopping done. I can either go pick it up and they load it in the back of the CX-5, or they deliver it. Either way, that is time I get back. I will happily give you all the money to get my time back. I’m that guy, and it’s not because I don’t want to go anywhere to do anything, it’s because I would like to do something else with my time.

Oil change issues: Seems I can’t find anyone who can break the oil plug on the CX 5, and now I know why. I got under the car myself, and found that the plug comes off with an Allen wrench, and the fuckers at the place where I got it, and anywhere else I’ve taken the damn thing, they’ve been trying to get it off with the normal way. IT’S ROUND ON THE EDGES. It does look like someone has tried to take it off with an fallen wrench at some point, and it looks like it could be stripped there as well. I did manage to get an Allen socket in there, but I lack the ass to break it. So I need a little leverage, like pretty much everything else.

Lesson: Don’t take your car to one of these jiffy 5 minute places. They don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.

See you next week, check out the Patreon Podcasts if you’re so inclined, and next week we got a new main show for ya. See ya then.

ZPM Diary, October 23rd, 2022

Zen Pirate Madman

The business has picked up here, as Good Ol’ JR might say, though not in the best ways. Topping the list is our cat Mariel, who gave us quite a scare. To be fair, she’s a senior cat now, so slowing down a bit is to be expected. We got very concerned when she stopped eating, became lethargic, and had no interest in anything. One trip to the vet later, they believe we’re dealing with kidney disease or failure. She’s on a special diet and on a med that gooses her appetite, and we’ll see at the check-up in a week or so. I can tell you that in the week we’ve been on the medication and the special food, she’s been eating. She’s also the cat we know and love again. I know that not eating can present kidney problems in cats if not treated, but I no longer believe the kidney disease was the source of the issue, but possibly an outgrowth from it. We have a new cat in the house, and I think Mariel was depressed and not eating, and that was the start of the whole shebang. Luckily, she’s eating again. She lost a lot of weight in this episode, so I’m hopeful we can get her back to an average, healthy weight.

I must confess I never understood why people would spend money hand over fist for a pet, especially if the quality of life of that pet wouldn’t get better. I think I have a frame of reference now. I’m not throwing in the towel on Mariel until I know there’s nothing to do but give her some peace. That cat adopted us, not the other way ’round. I’ll do whatever I can for her.

As it’s Sunday and I have a 24-hour lag on anything Doctor Who-related around here, I’ve been trying to avoid spoilers like the plague. Having said this, there’s one particular pathetic excuse for a human that has never liked Jodie Whitaker in the role because she’s a woman that’s been gloating all day. This waste of space is everything wrong with fandom: The belief that this story and this character were made just for you, or people like you. It’s not. Gatekeep deez nuts.

I hope you choke on your own bile the day Ncuti shows up. It’s almost like RTD saw you and said “Hold my beer, you bearded taint.”

Podcast/Content update for ya. Looking at starting things back up after the beginning of November. The Main Show will be once a week, and there will be two shows a week for Patreon. That’s how we’re going to start. I’m looking at some other content to put up, but that’s going to be down the road a piece. I need to establish the Main and Bonus shows. Stay Tuned for other stuff.

I need some idea of what to do next for a video or a photo shoot. I’m tapped for ideas at the moment. Seeking inspiration, I guess. Part of being in a low key depression for a long time is a dry and somewhat foggy brain. The gym helps, d’ya think it’s time to go back? Not gonna lie, the macaroni still has me somewhat stressed.

That’s all for now, see ya next week with more.

Return To Zero

Zen Pirate Madman

Here’s an odd little factoid about my family: my Dad was bald in his early thirties, and so was my brother. Most of the men on my Mother’s side were balding very early on. So, here’s another way I’m a freak of nature, I’ve managed to keep most of my hair up to my early fifties. Recently, it’s decided to let me know it might be time to stop fighting the tide. So I had a conversation with a clipper today.

I did this about ten years ago a little prematurely for a different reason; I just didn’t want to fuck with it. I was also in a weird repentant monk phase of my existence for some reason I can’t remember at the moment. However, it’s true that I feel like I’m about to go through another change; trouble is, I’m not sure where it will take me yet. I don’t know if it’s the same for everyone, but I can tell you that I’ve been a bunch of different people in my life: some good, some not so much. But I know this: every one of those changes was for a reason.

Time to embrace a new lesson, I suppose. My sixhead and I thank you for your patience.

ZPM Diary, October 9th, 2011

Zen Pirate Madman

If you remember one thing about me, I’ve spent most of my adult life fighting my temper. I tell people now that I have managed to grow a long fuse, but once that fuse is gone, things happen very quickly after that. The good news is that I’ve gone from having bad days to good years and bad days, few and far between.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I don’t get mad at people these days. Hell, I don’t even get mad at things that happen that much anymore unless you prick at my sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. What grinds my gears these days is those times when I am unable to accomplish a task I’ve set for myself. I’m competitive, but my opponent isn’t anyone outside my head. It has been and will always be me I’m head to head with.

So this weekend, when a series of things happened that prevented me from finishing items on my TDL, one after another, It started as an annoyance. After moving on to three separate tasks within a couple of hours and finding that I could make no progress on any of them for reasons outside my control, I had to go and be somewhere by myself for a while because I am not good at people-ing when I get in that mood. Silver lining: It’s good to have that self-awareness. I didn’t have that when I was younger, and some nights when the wind hits just right I can still smell the burnt bridges.

I will say this: There was no better cure for my condition than learning to be comfortable in my own skin, or put more colorfully, it got better when I learned how many licks it took to get the center of an I Don’t Give A Fuck.

The week ahead: I have more photos to post here, and I’ll get the assets together for the new podcast. Let this be a lesson: If you’re not sure what you’re deleting, don’t delete it. I wish I could tell you that was the first time I’ve done that. Plenty of other people will tell you it’s not the first time. It’s all good, though. It’s still going to be on the same feed, and you can see all the prior shows on the podcast link over on the sidebar.

I’m debating removing all the posts on the Patreon Page right now and starting from scratch. Everything I’ve done there up to this point has been scattershot and has no reason or rhyme. Ostensibly, you’re coming for the voice and the attitude. If that’s the case, you’re not getting it over there right now. Besides, the photos and the other stuff belong here at my place. Otherwise, I’ve got no reason to tell you to come here.

That’s it for now, see you next week if not sooner.

ZPM Diary, October 2nd 2022

Zen Pirate Madman

This is Oreo. I am not sure of Oreo’s origin, but I know that she absolutely adores the wife. Up until a few days ago, she lived in the space between my fence and the neighbors. I do believe that she belongs (or belonged) to someone, because she successfully used a litter box. I don’t think feral cats do that as a general rule, so Oreo’s been potty trained. With Hurricane Ian bringing tropical force winds and cubic assload of rain to Virginia Beach, Kimmers asked if she could bring Oreo indoors. By asking, I mean that it was made clear that Oreo is coming in the house AND YOU DON’T MIND, DO YOU.

DO. YOU.

Of course not. I was worried about the existing Queen of the house being territorial, but we’re now on day three and they seem to tolerate each other. They’re sleeping on the same bed as I type this. So, it would appear that Kim has been chosen by another cat. A very affectionate, very talkative cat. Reminds me of my Siamese cat Darth in that regard. You could carry full conversations with Darth, Oreo is not far off.

My guilty pleasure these days are HGTV or MotorTrend restoration shows. I find them a little different from the normal “Reality TV” fare, because there’s a tangible result at the end. They’re accomplishing something. Shows like Chrisley, to pick one out of the air, are manufactured drama, conflict, and resolution. In a word, bullshit. However, left to my own devices, I’ll just zone out and watch back to back restoration shows. It’s not exactly healthy, but let’s face a little fact: I’ve worked at the day job for a year straight with no time off until last week, and one week off wasn’t near enough to cure what ails me. The burnout is real. So, maybe self care is a endless train of Flip or Flop and Wheeler Dealers.

Don’t hate.

We’re now in the middle of the changing of the weather guard here. Kim likes fall, she just likes the changing of seasons. I spent the years between 5 and 12 in Hawaii, Virginia Beach and Gitmo. Yeah, I’m FROM Maine, but there’s a reason I say I’m FROM Maine. I DO NOT LIVE THERE NOW. I hate being cold for a number of reasons, but mainly because I’ve really never spent more than a couple of weeks at a time in Maine, mainly during Summer vacations, the exception being the Winter of 1982-1983. That was more than enough for me to vow I’d never go back there in the Winter. Hell, even October is too much. When we took my grandmother home after she passed, October 30, 2003. That morning it was 20 degrees. I’d rather not, thank you very hard.

This week I ported all the posts from the old Squarespace site over here to the new WordPress site. There’s more photos I’ll add that never appeared anywhere, and the poddlement will be returning shortly. ALSO: I finally figure out what the hell to do with the Patreon. I’ve paused it for the time being, and when I bring it back, there will be only one five dollar tier. You’ll get audio that I make just for the Patrons that will be a daily nugget with what I think is important that day, my stupid ass take on it, and when it fits, and stories about why you should absolutely use me as a bad example. The trouble has always been that my ambition is way larger than my ability to match that level of ambition. What I need to do is produce what I can realistically give you consistently. So, I’m gonna give that a try. I anticipate that we’ll start November 1st, but we’ll see. It’s possible I’ll wait until January 1st so that I’m not starting and then breaking for Thanksgiving and Chhristmas. Let’s leave the frequent absences from work to Congress.

I need to check on the feline armistice, so that’s all for now.

ZPM Diary, Sept 25th 2022

Zen Pirate Madman

I’d like to tell you that this was an eventful week here at RHQ, but I insisted that it be as quiet as possible. After working for a year straight at my day job, I took a vacation this week and mainly took it easy.

Of course, by easy, I mean: end my Squarespace site and move back to WordPress and find something simple. Two years ago when I got laid off, I poured everything into trying to hang my own shingle, not having learned what happened during the Great Recession when I tried the first time. Take note friends, If the general population does not have discretionary income, they are not going to spend it on you. The past two and a half years have been brutal, and it’s taken quite a chunk out of my mental health. While I’m not giving up on the dream, I’m scaling it way back to the point where I can allow myself to have fun again.

While cleaning my Mac, I deleted what I thought was an alias to my digital assets folder. That folder has all the stuff I use to make the podcast, the videos the photography. It wasn’t an alias. It was the actual folder. Luckily I had a backup, but the frustration of fixing my own screwup is something I could have done without. Took the opportunity to create new projects.

My laundry room shelves REALLY needed the Spark Joy treatment. I’m lying. My entire laundry room became the room in the house no one wants to admit exists. It’s clean, let us never speak of this again.

Insulin is not a new thing in this house, but it is a new thing to me. Fighting with insurance over insulin is also a new thing, but of all the new things that have happened this week, I didn’t expect to have my blood sugar go from 360 to 87 in 2 hours. If you don’t know what that feels like, I don’t recommend finding out.

I’ve cleaned this house from stem to stern. I’ve cleaned places in this house I had not known existed previously.

Now, I need to create a new template for the podcast in line with where I want to be now, and get back to creating, period. Photos, writing, podcast, videos, the whole thing. One thing at a time, and we’re going to start with this site. There’s some TikTok audio I heard once that said ”I’ve decided that I’m my niche, welcome to the shitshow.”

Welcome, indeed.

Photos: Heavy Machinery

Photography

After a long break, Kimmers and I headed down to the Charles Kuralt turnoff on the way to Knotts Island. She wanted to get the birds, but I had no idea what I wanted to capture. They’ve been doing some road work (How can you tell you crossed into North Carolina? Paved Roads.), and they parked their heavy equipment at the turnoff. So, I decided to mess around with the BIG YELLOW THING.

Music: Genesis — The Duke Suite

Music

From the 1980 Album Duke, Genesis originally wanted to have this all as one track on the album but decided against it. They didn’t want to create another Supper’s Ready 20-plus minute track. (Guys, I have Echoes and 2112 on Line 1, they’d like to have a word…)

When it came to touring for Duke, we got lucky. They play Behind The Lines, Duchess, Guide Vocal, Turn It On Again, Duke’s Travels, and Duke’s End in order. I adore this album, and I have a deep connection with Duke’s End: I used it as the outro for my show for years. Travels/End is one of the best pieces of music ever, in my opinion. It’s tracks like this that made Phil Collins a drum hero of mine and the reason I ever got behind a kit. I wanted to learn to play the great Genesis songs.

Enjoy.

The Midnight — Heroes

Music

One of my favorite bands released a new album today.  Quoting from Wikipedia:

The Midnight is an American synthwave band composed of Atlanta-based singer-songwriter Tyler Lyle and Los Angeles-based Danish-born producer, songwriter, and singer Tim McEwan.

I’m nearly obsessed with this band.  Not in the Pink Floyd/Rush kind of way, but in the “this is what 1984-86 sounded like in my head” kind of way.

Yes, I’m old.  Don’t hate.

Framing Matters

Photography, Politics

Any photographer—any storyteller—will tell you that how you frame something can tell a quite a different story from reality.  For example, here’s a wide shot of Independence Hall from Biden’s speech.

Here’s the photo that’s circulating over on Right Wing Media.  Notice a difference?

This photo is a close and cropped shot to exclude the blue panels on either side, and it’s been Photoshopped to make the red backdrop behind him darker and more sinister.   Biden’s body language is meant to portray something evil, but since this photo has clearly been, uh, selectively edited, I find myself wondering if Biden actually did this.

Don’t believe everything you see.  Question Everything.

Judge Rules Business Doesn’t Have To Cover PrEP

Blog

Buzzfeed:

Hotze’s attorneys argued that he believed PrEp “facilitates and encourages homosexual behavior, intravenous drug use, and sexual activity outside of marriage between one man and one woman,” and that providing such preventive medicine would make him complicit in that behavior

O’Connor agreed with that argument and found the Department of Health and Human Services had failed, under the provisions of the RFRA, to show it had a compelling governmental interest to substantially burden Braidwood’s religious beliefs, and that this was the least restrictive means for doing so.

In response to government arguments that there was no factual support for Hotze’s beliefs that PrEP facilitates anti-Christian behaviors, O’Connor ruled the courts were required only to test the sincerity of these beliefs, not their correctness.

This guy is old enough to have lived through the 1980’s.  I certainly remember that time.  I also remember Ryan White, and he didn’t end up with AIDS because of a behavior or a lifestyle. He got a tainted blood transfusion.  Magic Johnson wasn’t gay either, although you could make the argument that his was a behavioral issue.   Two examples that illustrate the point Mr. Hotze and Judge O’Connor would like you to forget: HIV / AIDS is not limited to the LGBT+ community.  It’s people who needed blood transfusions, it’s promiscuity without protection, it’s addicts who share needles, and most importantly, it’s people who used to do those things, straightened up, and might be attending your church today.  

PrEP saves lives.  As with all things Christofascists, the cruelty is the point.  

Thoughts On Apple Day

Tech

Apple will host a reveal party at the Steve Jobs Theater in Cupertino for the first time in a couple of years for the first time in a couple of years for the first time in a couple of years.  I have to tell you that I’m going to miss the very well-produced videos that Apple has done throughout the pandemic, and I hope they continue those in some capacity.

Despite being a happy Apple customer, I am getting less and less interested in these occasional product reveals.  It might be because there are no longer any surprises, no more ‘one more thing,’ but I suspect it’s that the designs are largely the same with only slight adjustments to ensure you need to buy one more thing.  A new case, a new dongle, a new charging cable.  I suppose that is the one thing we can expect from any Apple product reveal:  We’re going to have to adapt, and that usually means our wallets.  I’m not bitter about it, that’s just a fact of life when you’re in the Apple ecosphere.

I’m less and less interested because I am not an Apple Fanboy, nor am I an Android enthusiast.  I am a cheerleader for using the tool that gets the job done.  I don’t care what it is.  If you can do what you need to do with the device you have, mazel tov.

I’m gonna need a new reason, a new product, and a new thing to be as excited as I used to be.

UPDATE:  Apparently they changed their mind, and this is a video presentation like the past two years.

UPDATE 2:  There are only two features that caught my attention: First, Action Mode on the iPhone 14.  Built-in stabilization is something I’ve been looking for.  It’s the reason I folded and bought a Go Pro.  Aside from that, there’s no reason for me to trade my iPhone 12.  Second: the new oval cutout on the iPhone 14 Pro.  It’s pretty, but it’s a gimmick.  I don’t need that.  Sorry Tim, I have a blue iPhone 12, and I’m not giving it up yet. 

Rethinking The News

Blog

From Wajahat Ali’s Twitter:

Right-wing take over of Politico and CNN, plus mainstream outlets like CBS News and others actively courting Trumpers and pulling their punches for sake of GOP “access” reveals everything terrible about mainstream media and its normalization of fascism. It’s going to get worse.

…

Last year, a producer told me how low the bar had become for conservative voices on TV. They had to 1) Accept Biden won the election and 2) Not support white supremacy or be overtly white supremacist. It was very difficult to find these voices.

Mainstream media outlets like those listed above aren’t really moving rightward, but they are normalizing “bothsides-ism”.  That’s the problem; there isn’t a both sides to be had here if you’re a sane person.  Anyone who insists that there are both sides to this issue either doesn’t get it, or is paid not to.

I’m Not That Fancy

Zen Pirate Madman

So, here’s a little bit of a switch. As some of you may be aware, I’ve been a Squarespace customer for almost a decade. I like them, and their customer service has been excellent. However, over the course of the pandemic I’ve been thinking about what it is I actually *need* for a site, and that feeling has intensified over the last few weeks. I’ve also been giving thought to the anxiety I give myself trying to make my multimedia talents a thing, and I just don’t need to do that. I need to have fun doing this stuff, and this hasn’t been fun for a while.

So I’m scaling back. I have made the switch back to a WordPress site, and the first decision I had to make was to whether or not to go look for a fancy theme or not. I don’t need some magazine theme or a portfolio theme, and I don’t need something that has my face plastered all over it like my last Squarespace site did. I need the content to be front and center; more steak than sizzle. This theme does that. It also serves as a platform for me to relearn some of the WordPress development things that I lost over the past ten years or so.

This new experiment—and let’s be clear, this is me playing mad scientist for the first time in a dozen years or so— is meant to do one thing: force me to look at a blank background until I get annoyed enough to fill it with something. I make no promises, but if you’ve been with me for a while, you know this. Of course, you know where the door is if you’ve had enough.

I haven’t.

 

Rt 12, Pea Island Road, Dec 15th 2021

Photography

About This Photo:

iPhone 12 4.2mm f/1.6 1/6135

The drive to Rodanthe, on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, is my favorite drive, and this road is the most barren and beautiful stretch of it. If you’ve ever heard of this road, it’s likely because it’s been flooded out after a hurricane.

On the left side about fifty yards beyond the dunes, is The Atlantic Ocean. On the right, between 25 and fifty yards beyond the light poles, is the Ablemarle Sound. This is a narrow and salty piece of land, and it’s one of my happy places.

The Sole Inhabitant, Dec 15th 2021

Photography

About This Photo:

iPhone 12 4.2mm f /1.6 1/7813

As we walked back from the beach, this gentleman was walking towards it to do just what I had done, take pictures. I’m just about at the road, when I turn back and see this shot. It just looked so…I don’t know. Stark may not be the right word, but a lone figure in that cutaway was irresistible.

Footbridge, Corolla NC, Dec 15th 2021

Photography

About This Photo:

iPhone 12 1.55mm f/2.4 1/978

This is the historic footbridge at Whalehead Resort in Corolla, NC. This is on the northern end of the Outer Banks, and it’s as simple as taking a left at the first major light once you cross the bridge. In almost 40 years of going down to OBX, I’d never taken that left.

This is a gem I didn’t expect to find. Amazing.

Bodie Island Light, OBX, Dec 15th 2021

Photography

About This Photo:

iPhone 12, 4.2mm f/1.6 1/7299

Bodie Island Light is at the Northern End of Rt 12. While most people think of Hatteras Light when they think of OBX, I find Bodie Island more photogenic. Especially on an overcast day like this. Just beautiful.

A Manifesto for Doing It Right In The Next Year

Articles

I suppose it’s incredibly passé for writers — especially on Medium — to write some kind of year looking forward post, so here I am with mine. You’re welcome.

It occurs to me that I should frame this particular year looking forward in the style of this new theme, for a lack of a better way to put it. So, I intend to put to bed the last couple of years of doing it wrong, and chart a path forward into doing it right. The simple fact of the matter is if we want a world that’s doing it right, then it starts with the self.

I think I heard that in a song once.

The following items, in no particular order, are the things I wish to change, start, or carry with me into the new year.

The Personal

Everything starts with kindness

If you assume that this is the third part of a trilogy starting with my article “We’re Doing It Wrong”, then you may remember that I started talking about this in the second part. I think the bare minimum we can do as a society is treat people with kindness. Everyone, no matter what they look like, where they come from, or who they love, is deserving of respect and kindness.

That includes ourselves. Believe me, I know how hard that can be.

Recently, I was in a corporate training class. Several times within this class the facilitator implored us to ‘give ourselves some grace’. Now I won’t lie to you; when I first heard this line in the context of corporate training, it was an immediate eye roll. I’m a little hard-boiled when it comes to hearing things that sound like motivational corpspeak. In the weeks since, I have found that line working its way into my psyche.

I don’t know how or when it happened, but I find I’m not beating myself up as much. I also know that I’m not the only one that beats themselves up over the tiniest of things, so when I recognize that in others, I make sure they know I’m a safe person to talk to. That’s a connection with another human that didn’t exist before, and it reminds me of a quote by Paul Williams in his book Das Energi, “Each man is an island. Each island is an extension of the same damn planet.”

Kindness within begets kindness elsewhere. Start with you and watch it spread.

Declaring iFreedom

Prior to the invention of the iPhone, I carried a utility belt of devices. What I wanted was The Hitchhiker’s Guide, and I pretty much got my wish. The iPhone has combined them all into one, and I should have been more careful what I wished for. My phone rarely stays in my pocket, and it’s always in view. Now, I have a goal to regain ownership of this tool I possess, instead of it owning me.

I’ve never had any notifications or sounds on my phone. It’s always silent. So is my watch. That will continue. What I need to stop is having my phone in my hand, playing with it. It’s a huge time suck, and the longer I’m doom scrolling through Twitter and TikTok, it just demolishes any hope of getting work done.

One thing I know for sure: removing all the time sucks from my phone is a sure way for me to end up reinstalling them very quickly. So, I’m going to do something a little counterintuitive. I’m going to use my phone to keep me from using my phone. I’m not entirely sure how that’s going to work yet. There may be something new in iOS called Focus that may set this up for me, but at the bare minimum I’m going to set alarms on my phone for when I need to bury it in a deep dark hole.

Part of declaring iFreedom means getting rid of all the distractions, and so I’m going to create a workspace free of them. Working in a single full-screen writing app on my Mac, for example. I also plan to start wearing noise-cancelling headphones, and most importantly, reinstalling a door to my office that I can close.

A simple morning routine that even I can’t break

I used to get up at 5am, but lately I have fallen into the habit of hitting my snooze button and sleeping away my morning time. It’s really unfortunate, because that time between 5am and 8am is the only real quiet alone time I get during a day. I need it, and yet I also need to sleep for more than 5 hours in a night. I can survive on six, but I really need more than that.

So, with the understanding that your morning really starts the night before, I’ve been picking what I’m going to wear the night before. I generally sit in a hot tub for about 30 minutes before bed and listen to my Daily Calm. I make sure my room isn’t warm. I tend to turn the fans on blast while I’m in the tub.

In the morning, I hit the water before I hit the caffeine. This is the point where some of the high-falutin’ guru types tell you to practice gratitude or journal. My brain isn’t wired that way, and I’m not going to force it to do something that will end up frustrating me early in the day. So, I’m just quiet. I read, and I’m quiet. Did I mention the part about being quiet? As I’m writing this part, it’s 9 at night, and I’m surrounded by a screaming bird, melodramatic adult children, and a cat that thinks I should be somewhere else and wants to tell me so very loudly.

I like my quiet mornings. A lot.

Stop watching and listening to infotainment media

I am an information junkie. I’m the guy that watches C-Span, school board and city council meetings for fun. However, two years of a pandemic on top of four years of horrible 24-hour news cycles filled with as much batshit crazy as humanly possible has pretty much destroyed my desire to know what’s going on in the world. I have an acute case of news fatigue, or I would if what I found myself watching was actually news. It’s not. It’s the empty calorie infotainment of cable news, where they spend 2 minutes on the actual news, and 8 minutes with a panel of people that tell you whatever it is they think you want to hear.

Like a lot of you, Desert Storm was the gateway drug for watching cable news for hours, because you never knew what was going to happen next. All the ensuing Breaking News events over the years kept our eyeballs firmly on the screen. This is a habit I need to break. I have one guilty pleasure that I had intended to keep, which was watching Rachel Maddow. However, as it appears she’s stepping back from a full-time stint doing her show and pulling a ‘Carson’, it’s probably the kick in the butt I need to break this habit.

I’m cutting out all the infotainment and news out of my life. If it’s important enough I’m going to hear about it. I’m also cutting all the political content out of my podcasts and reading habits for the foreseeable future. The year ahead is going to be chock full of those nuts from here until November, I’m sure I’ll hear enough about that as well.

The bottom line is that I’ve found this has a detrimental effect on my motivation to create, and I’ve had about enough of that.

The Practical

De-weaponizing my Socials

Just like watching too much news as a detrimental effect on my creativity, the same goes for my social media feeds. I’m going to spend a lot of time curating my feeds to put creative content front and center in there instead of the loud and angry squeaky wheels that seem to dominate my timelines.

Far be it from me to urge anyone to do anything I’m doing, but in this case I’d like to make an exception. Instead of doomscrolling through Twitter finding reasons to be angry and depressed, why not eject those accounts and replace them with people and things that actually interest and inspire you? Does curating your accounts to purge the negativity take time? YES. Is it worth that time? I think it is.

Create a Workflow

As far as I know, I don’t suffer from ADD or ADHD. What I do suffer from is the ability to get lost in the muck of a project very easily. As I reflected on that fact, it occurred to me that I’ve never constructed proper workflows for any of the projects I work on with any regularity. I’m sure that constructing some proper systems and workflows will aid me in turning out more consistent content, like writing articles for Medium. But honestly, who wants to see that?

Create first, consume later

In a way, this goes and in hand with breaking my phone addiction. As I mentioned in that section, if I grab the phone first thing in the morning, it’s over. So, along with that is blocking out a period of creative time early in the day to create first. I believe I’m going to start with a block of 30 minutes after my morning quiet time where the phone is not in my line of sight to work on the project of the day. Social media time may be used as a treat for making good progress.

If I can hold to 30 minutes for a prolonged period of time, I intend to raise that in 15 minute increments until I reach a point where my flow gets broken. I find that after a certain period of time I reach a point of diminishing returns, so the hope is that I can raise my attention level to something more acceptable.

Practice Consistency

The hard truth is that inconsistency is the result of much I’ve written above. If I want my content to gain wider acceptance, consistency is key. I’m hoping that blocking out this time will lead to more consistent output. However, in the spirit of practicing consistent output, my intention is to determine some reasonable interval I can commit to, and sticking to it until I feel comfortable increasing my output level.

Finding that interval is going to be really important because if there’s one thing I can tell you about me, it’s that I bite off WAY more than I can chew regularly. I know myself enough to know that once I miss on overdoing it, I lose momentum. So it seems to me that starting small and slow is the way to go.

There is a downside to going small and slow, and that’s not being able to grow as fast as I’d like. The only way you make up for that is creating the kind of content that makes people want to wait. I hope I’m able to do that.

The Professional

Becoming more comfortable with promoting my stuff

I’m going to fill most of the readers my age with heart-stopping anxiety in one sentence. Ready?

Hi. I made you a mixtape.

Honestly, I think I’d rather gargle ground glass than ever do that again. But let’s be honest; the fun in the mixtape is in the making of it, right? It’s when you go to hand it to another person that the it all goes wobbly. I think it’s the same for promoting what I do. I can’t be the only person who thinks like this. I can create my art all day long, but when it comes to holding it up to the world, I feel very much like a nervous teen. I also get the horrible feeling that I’m a slimy little spammer when I post my stuff on social media.

I know where this comes from. At least, I think I do. It’s some weird hybrid of not feeling like I’m good enough to waste your time, and feeling like a salesman. It’s something I need to get over, because the only reason anyone would think I’m a spammy salesman is if they’re seeing my feed in their face ALL. THE. TIME. No one does that. So I should be able to post something I’ve done at least once a day without feeling crummy.

Also, I am good enough. That’s someone else’s voice talking in my head, and while it’s hard to get him to leave every once in a while, it’s just trying to stop me from doing something I enjoy.

Learn how to pitch and attract clients

With the exception of one person, every paying client I’ve ever had was a friend or family member insisting on paying me for my work, with me insisting they didn’t have to pay me BECAUSE they were a friend or a family member. If I spent half that time learning how to pitch and attract clients or commissions, I’d probably be much farther ahead.

I have to be honest, this is the one that really stumps me. I haven’t a clue on where to begin. It’s not for a lack of looking for training, I can assure you of that. Unless I’ve been staring a class on how to do this right in the face and don’t know it, I don’t know how or where to begin this. So, the first step as far as I’m concerned is finding some training on the subject, and preferrably one that explains it like I’m five. I need the Freelancer’s version of USA Today: bright colors, big fonts, small words.

Gain my first recurring freelance clients

Of course, I plan to make use of that training to gain my first clients in the areas of writing, audio and video production and editing, and photography. With that said, I believe I’m best served focusing on one thing right now, and I believe that’s going to be writing.

Writing is a lot like learning to play piano; it’s the gateway to a lot of other instruments. Anything I write, I can repurpose. If I can repurpose it, I can spread it around. If more people can see or hear it, then it should build a base of support around my work, provided I can follow through with a few of the other goals I’ve set for myself.

I know, I said ‘should’. Humor me.

Make my first thousand dollars in freelancing by the end of 2022

This is where the rubber meets the road. The ultimate success of consistent creation and promotion, and learning how to pitch and attract clients will be in my ability to create revenue from it. I may have set this goal a bit high, but I think I want to challenge myself here.

I want to generate one thousand dollars from my content in 2022. I think that’s a substantial enough amount where I can say to myself that it worked. If it worked to one thousand, then it will work beyond that.

Final Thoughts

To recap, I want to practice kindness. I want to break my addiction to technology, infotainment, and negative social media. I want to spend my mornings in quiet solitude, and block out time to create art before I consume other media. I want to create reliable workflows so I can create consistent content. I want to break the mental barrier I have about promoting my work, and attract new clients so I can realize my goal of making this work a source of income.

I believe that this is my way of doing it right in 2022, and I want to succeed.

So, let’s do it right.

Rudee Inlet Benchwarmer, Nov 20th, 2021

Photography

About This Photo:

Canon T5i, 24mm f/4.5 1/2500

As I passed this guy, he was saying to someone in the phone “A life lived for others is the only life worth living.”

Einstein on the Beach, ladies and gentlemen.

A Mid-Life Creative Mindset

Articles

So, you’ve decided to jump and follow that tiny voice in your head that told you it’s time to leave a job you hated and try to make a living out of something you love. If you’re anything like me, you may have started from a place of excitement with a side dish of abject terror. Let’s admit something to ourselves: We’ve spent twenty or thirty years following a schedule, procedures, and rules someone else made.

Now we’re in control, and if you’re anything like me, your brain had a little bit of a short circuit. So it’s likely you may have gone in one of two directions. First, you may have gone full bore into everything all at once because you were a little apprehensive about the immediate future, or you took a week off to process everything and then went full bore into everything all at once.

Or, you’re me, who has a slight problem with executive dysfunction from time to time and got frozen by the prospects of starting. Of course, I started. Otherwise, you wouldn’t see anything here, but I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I wasn’t overwhelmed by the size of the task before me. It took me a little while to wrap my brain entirely around the fact that I wasn’t working for ‘the man’ anymore and that my income was going to ultimately depend on what I could pitch, create, and deliver. Even though I prepared for it on a few levels, I was not anticipating having a short circuit over it. I did, but I’m ok now.

I’m ok now because I had to get myself into the right mindset for what’s to come. That’s not an easy task for someone of my age and previous mindset. First, I crave certainty because my upbringing and the jobs I’ve worked for years relied on certainty. There was a particular order and logic to my being raised as a Navy Brat by a Navy Chief, and most of the jobs I’ve worked were full of If = Then logic, quality and performance numbers, and KPIs. That’s all gone now, and I was looking for something to replace it in the vacuum left behind. So I had to ‘detox’ for lack of a better term, and start looking at the concept of creativity in a way that my mid-life brain could handle and begin to move forward.

Don’t Be That Guy

The first thing I had to do to create that new vision for my mid-life creative future was to get rid of the voice in my head that kept trying to tell me I would fail. I mentioned this in a previous article. For me, weeding that garden was not an easy task. I couldn’t just tell that voice to go away; I had to look at the life behind that voice and realize why he was telling me that. I also had to compare the end of that life to how I envision the end of mine.

It sounds like a grim view to take, but it was the only way it would work for me. Somewhere along the way, I picked up an idea from someone to start at the end — your ideal eulogy — and work your way backward. I have some experience writing eulogies and rewriting them several times because I thought better of telling too much truth to the living. Still, every point I edited out stayed with me, and I use those points to remind me that I am not that guy. I will never be that guy, and I deserve to be my own person who can succeed in life doing what he loves, not what others force him to do.

Four Principles

Of course, there’s more to cultivating a proper mindset than just digging in the dirt and freeing yourself from your past inner voices. You have to create a foundation for your future. As a person who wants to be a Creative for the 2nd half of our lives, we need to live a different lifestyle than our parents did and separate from the life we lived before. I think that our future starts with the following four principles.

Curiosity

Since it’s trendy to do so these days, I will make a Ted Lasso Reference. The darts scene references the Walt Whitman quote, “Be curious, not judgmental.” At my age, I remember that my father would just come home and sit in a recliner for the remainder of the evening and not do anything. He had no hobbies and no interests.

It’s possible that the day job just took all the energy out of him, but I believe that’s because he had nothing to look forward to at the end of the day. I love coming home and spending time with the family, and then once everything for the evening is taken care of, I can get to writing, or podcasting, or just noodling around with the guitar.

When I’m not actively creating, I’m learning. Whether it’s classes on Creative Live, YouTube Tutorials, or something heavier on LinkedIn Learning, I’m doing my best to work on my craft when I don’t have the energy to sit down and make something of my own. That’s the promise and the investment I make in myself as often as possible. To learn how to make better art and then do the best work I can.

At our age, we must maintain our energy level throughout the day and cultivate and maintain that level of curiosity — of play — that we ad when we were younger. It’s easy to become ‘set in our ways, but I think that’s the act of surrender. We still have more in the tank than we think, and I challenge you to find that reserve and make your art whatever it is.

Boldness

If you’re a one-person army dedicated to creating and promoting, then there’s one thing you already know: No one is coming to help you. Because so many of us have been a part of some organization and working with teammates for decades, it’s easy to trick yourself into thinking that there’s another person somewhere to give us direction. But, unfortunately, there isn’t, and the sooner you accept that, the better it will be.

However, because there’s no one else to give you direction, that also means that there’s no one around that says no to your ideas. Let that sink in for a second, and then think of all the things you’ve always wanted to do but were afraid someone wouldn’t let you do it. For example, I made a list of all the projects I’ve always wanted to work on over the years but never had the time or the belief in myself that I could do them.

After I finished my latest project, I felt a little lost about where to go next. Then I remembered I made that list and found it. As a result, I’m writing the first work of science fiction that I’ve done in about 30 years. Unlike my previous attempts, this one comes from a place of relative happiness instead of the pretty dark place I was in my teens and twenties. With any luck, it will turn out better than anything I’ve written, but the result isn’t the point. The point is to be bold enough to try something well out of your comfort zone. I’m better for having tried.

Discipline

The self-proclaimed gurus often amuse me with names like the barefoot creative, the hammock writer, or the four-hour photographer. They make it seem so easy. But, of course, we know being a full-time creative is not easy. It can be overwhelming. It’s incredibly overwhelming for a person who’s lived on a schedule for most of their lives. Clocking in and out and being prepared to account for every moment they’re unproductive. The freedom from not having to account for every second of your day is lovely, but it can very quickly lead to a lack of direction and motivation if you’re not careful.

Stopping to watch the baseball game one day can lead to hours in front of the idiot box. Checking your notifications on Twitter leads to mindless doom scrolling, and TikTok is an endless rabbit hole if you don’t put a stop to it. Wiser people than I have said this, and it’s true: If you’re consuming, you’re not creating. The day ends, and you wonder where the time went.

Additionally, I have a problem with planners and journals. I like the idea, but my brain doesn’t want to stick with them. Instead, I go in with a basic idea of what I’d like to do on a given day or week, and I check those off the list I make in Apple Notes. I don’t overthink it, but I know I need discipline to accomplish my goals. Since July, I’ve been trying to keep a Bullet Journal again, and I’m having some success. I forget to add in my daily thoughts on some days, but I’m trying to remember that it’s not the daily that’s so important to me. What’s important to me is the whole record. I want some way to document this new journey to look back on it later and see how far I’ve come along. That seems important, and for that reason, I’m sticking to it.

Patience

If it was easy and I knew I’d be successful overnight, I wouldn’t have waited so long to do it. Making this choice was scary, and part of the reason was that I didn’t know if I could do it or how long it would take to make any money from it. The truth is, if you’re doing this to chase money, you will fail. I want to pursue the thing that brought me here, and it wasn’t a dead president. It was a need to be something more than a tech support agent and a need to do something I found meaningful.

If you commit to something like this, you can’t just duck and run when it gets complicated, when you get stuck in the ‘messy middle,’ as one of my friends calls it. You have to have a certain amount of faith that the art you’re making is worth it. You have to have the patience to stick it out through the difficulties like rewriting an article for the fourth time because it’s not working, relighting that shot because it just doesn’t look right, or re-editing that podcast because something about the sound isn’t working for you.

This enterprise takes a lot of time and work, and you must be in it for the long haul. Three months in, I seem to be making headway, but it’s only been three months. So let’s see where we are at six months and then a year. Maybe I’ll fail. That’s fine. I’ll have failed because I tried, and if I fail, it won’t be because I panicked. A year is what I’ve given myself, and my patience can last that long, especially if I know I’m working hard to change that year to Year One.

Final Thoughts

We had the curiosity to wonder if this would work. We had the boldness to jump. We can cultivate the discipline to make progress every day, and we have the patience to see it through to the end. That’s our mantra. Those four pillars are the foundation we need to build our lives. May it continue, and may we succeed in what we’re trying to do.