This pirate is a midday pirate who’s good after breakfast and wanes after dinner, and this pirate is here to tell you that this is a perfectly acceptable way to live your life.
Transcript
This pirate isn’t a morning person. He’s tried. This pirate can’t stay up late anymore because he’s an old salt that needs to get some sleep. This pirate is a midday pirate who’s good after breakfast and wanes after dinner, and this pirate is here to tell you that this is a perfectly acceptable way to live your life.
This pirate looks out over the harbor and sees all manner of yachts helmed by other people with titles they gave themselves. These people with titles they gave themselves would like you to get up half an hour before you went to bed and take on the day and work half an hour later than you hit the sack and take on tomorrow as well. They’d like you to meditate and journal and feel gratitude for working 25 hours a day, but this pirate doesn’t think you can sit still long enough to contemplate your belly button, or write anything coherent, or feel anything but tired if you’re working 25 hours a day.
This pirate is exaggerating just a tad, but only a tad.
This pirate’s opinion is undoubtedly just his own. Still, instead of working 25 hours a day, he thinks that it’s better to be out on the deck in those hours where he’s actually effective and not engaging in a game of diminishing returns. However, that presents a little bit of a problem when you’re a landlubber doing a landlubber job, so this pirate has had to take that into account. This pirate had to schedule his sailing expeditions, and that presents other issues when you’re trying to leave the dock, and the ropes keep trying to re-tie themselves to your ship. These ropes sometimes have names like “Didja,” and “Canya,” and “Wouldja,” and they always have an ulterior motive: to keep you on land. Sometime’s there’s a more aggressive rope named “Youneedta,” and that one’s a real villain to deal with. That’s why this pirate has been sharpening his cutlass lately. That cutlass is called “No,” and a well-placed swing protects your time at sea. Because if this pirate doesn’t sail, he not only can’t go looking for treasure, he also can’t feed the crew.
So I sail when I’m at my sharpest and keep that cutlass sharp as well.