This may not be a very popular take, but what the hell. I think there are two kinds of reality TV. There’s one that takes you through a process that has a tangible result at the end. The other kind is trash tv that manufactures conflict for the effect. Laughs, Screams, WTFs, whatever it is. You might have guessed that I’ll watch the former but hate the latter. It wasn’t always the case; for example, I watched Gene Simmons’s Family Jewels. I’m sure I watched other stuff, but so much of it is so forgettable…I’ve forgotten it. I have never watched a Kardashian do anything, I have no interest in Real Housewives of Insert city here, I could care less about your love before, during, or after lockup, I just don’t care. About the only things you can count on in 2023 on TV are a Law and Order, an NCIS, a Chicago, and somebody upending a table and going after someone nails first because they…well, I assume a producer told them to.
I mean, we all know the drill at this point, yes? Reality TV is not real. Maybe it was at one point that I was naive and gullible in my “When people stop being polite and start getting real” youth. I thought The Real World NY and LA were legit. I thought Survivor season 1 was legit. Of course, living here in Virginia Beach, I had to root for Rudy the retired Navy Seal. But after that, and before Gene Simmons, certainly, by the time Gene Simmons came around, Reality TV started blurring the lines. Manufacturing conflicts, Inventing roadblocks, and conjuring plot twists are all designed to get you…to the other side of the ad break. Cynical, I know, but let’s face some facts. If reality TV was really “Reality”, as in totally unscripted, it would be boring as fuck. So they gin it up.
The other thing about Reality TV that you may or may not know is how utterly cheap it is to make compared to scripted TV. The reason is that they have a simple production value and a much higher ROI than NCIS. Hell, Game of Thrones was around 6 million per episode in the first season. Reality TV episodes might reach 1 million per episode these days, but that’s probably the big ones like Real Housewives. They are not paying a million for Mama freakin’ June’s latest train wreck, I promise you that.
Regardless, TV is chock full of ‘reality’ish TV, and I hope you’re OK with that because that’s gonna be the only new stuff we see for a minute. For the first time in 60-some-odd years, the Writers and the Actors are on strike together at the same time. That pretty much stops everything being filmed right now that’s not reality TV, I would imagine. Hell, it might stop *some* reality shows but not all, and it certainly won’t stop the networks from coming up with every crazy idea you can think of. Also, if you believe some reports, management will try and wait this out. I saw a quote somewhere about the WGA coming back to the table once people start losing their homes. That’ll be around October or so, and depending on how desperate management is, I expect a phone call. I’m joking. Not really. If you get to me and my crazy ideas, you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel, I assure you. And just so we’re clear, I’m not scabbing for anyone. If someone seriously ever wanted my shit, they will be paying me.
But what can we do? Well, for a start, if you’re a creator, don’t give your shit away for magic beans when they come calling. Don’t cross the line. You’ll be remembered if you do. Consumers? I’m not sure what to tell you. I want to tell you to stop watching TV, but that’s tricky. One of the sticking points that caused the strike is streaming. If I’m binging Season 12 of NCIS right now on Paramount Plus, for example, am I part of the problem? And what about AI? I had heard that they want to take an extra, scan them, pay them once, and use that image in perpetuity. I don’t believe that’s cool at all, and if that’s true, they need to come up with another arrangement.
Finally, if we just leave the labor unions’ point of view for a second, I heard something this morning that may not cross your mind so I’ll bring it up. Keith Olbermann on his Countdown podcast—yes, I’m a fan, don’t hate—brought up the tiers of businesses in and around the film and TV industry that a prolonged strike will hurt. Caterers, Dry cleaners, Custodial staff, Waitpersons and Bartenders, the people down here like you and me that work in what Keith called possibly the last company town in America. He may not be wrong. For that reason alone—the little guys who take your order at that bar on Sunset—that this gets resolved quickly, and someone can get back to work writing Gibbs back onto my favorite GD tv show.